Junk Collector

I'm just a junk collector with some nerdish tendencies
yeah, a junk collector with freaky-deak propensities
I can't pretend to be something that I'm not
but I've got some tricks to fit in this society

I'm walking straight up to a stranger, ask her out on a date
and I'm not a mess, obsessed, "how could we possibly relate?"
'cause in reality, we probably can't
but you're looking pretty cool, why shouldn't you get a chance?
so after introduction, we set the game plan
guess I'll have to clean the crap from out my minivan
because I scored this main frame last week, was really neat
but all the data spools are taking up the passenger seat
and like Marcellus Washburn, I beg her pardon
I'm meeting the young lady at the botanical garden
and I'm rolling in this totally fly shirt, yo
I just found it in the trash a half an hour ago
and -- of course I washed it first, jeez
what do you take me for, a hobo with herpes?
I mean, wait! uh, you got it all wrong
listen, baby, do you want to hear a song?

I'm just a junk collector with some nerdish tendencies
yeah, a junk collector with freaky-deak propensities
I can't pretend to be something that I'm not
but I've got some tricks that work on this society

antique shops, swap meets, and yard sales
I'm bringing home laptops and broken wheelchairs
that I find as I'm roaming down around in the street
I'm like, how could someone throw away a broken TV?
if you had at least three, you could stack'em like so
and have a Tower of Babel right in your front door
take'em downtown to that abandoned skyrise
defenestrate them all, see how well they can fly
or better yet, rip'em open, get the vaccuum tubes
put two in your bra, have transister boobs
put the third one in your pants sticking out of your butt
then everyone who sees you will be like, "what?"

she got ba-dunk-a-dunk, junk in the trunk
not junk like blubber, talking junk like stuff
she got ba-dunk-a-dunk, she's my hump
'cause her trunk is literally bumping to the brim with junk

'cause I'm a junk collector
rocking what I got
yeah, a junk collector
and sure 'nough, it's kind of hot
'cause I'm the funk protector
the superfly MC
but if you happen to have some junk
well, could you pass it to me?